This is THE exercise I teach when someone feels uncertain about a choice. It can work for everyone, any type of choices, and can return us to a STATE OF CLARITY.
Use comparison to help you sense into choices.
Think of a situation you'd like to get clear about. Choose two options you could consider taking, then do the exercise.
New career. Stay in this one.
Leave relationship. Stay.
Go to this event. Don't go.
Visit this doctor. Visit that healer.
Talk to person. Let it go.
Take this supplement. Don't take it.
Grad school. Certificate.
"Actively" fix this pattern. Let the pattern be.
You get the idea. By comparing two distinct options you'll get a better sense than if you just check in to your sense on one. For example, you have a job opportunity to go to Italy. Rather just sensing into the opportunity, sense both taking the job and not talking it.
Take a few breaths and intend to be open to your intuition.
1. When you bring to awareness about Option A, (example, go on this retreat) what do you feel in your body?
Do you feel open? Light? Bright? Expansive? Even if there is a stirring, fluttering feeling? Or do you feel more closed? Heavy? Dark? Constricted? Tight?
2. Then bring to awareness Option B, (example, don't go on this retreat). What do you feel in your body?
Again, notice if you feel more open or closed.
Note: There is an alternative below where you add symbolism to the sensing. This can make things much more vivid, or clear, if there are strong emotions involved.
3. Then commit.
Clarity is always here. We're just disconnected from it. Clarity is not related to having an answer. You can be in a state of confusion or clarity, regardless of whether or not you know what to do.
With your commitment, the next step unfolds. This is true no matter what you sensed. Here's what I mean.
When it's clearly a yes towards one option
Commit. This opens to the next next step. The HOW starts to become clear and unfold.
When it's clearly a no towards the topic What if they feel the same? What if you only sensed one of the options and nothing for the other? What if you don't feel anything, or it's confusing and you don't know?
— Sometimes neither choice is aligned for us.
— Sometimes we are just too uncentered and in our heads rather than bodies, so we can't sense. So if you still don't know, what can you be clear about? "I'm clear that I don't know." You can be clear that you aren't clear about it at this time. And it's okay. For now. Open to knowing when it is time. Alternative: Add symbolism
Commit. No need to keep spinning the choice. Now we become open to possibilities for this need to be fulfilled another way.
When that happens, I might talk about both of them out loud, and notice if my voice feels fuller and deeper (yes) or tighter and higher (no). If they are still the same, simply pick. Either choice is aligned for you.
In my experience, usually when you sense one option, and get nothing for the other option, it is because that choice is not really suitable to you.
— It simply may not be time.
Commit to dropping the wondering about it now. You'll know when you know. To help settle your mind, you can tell your mind you'll check on this again in 1 week (or month, or whatever). You can tell your intuition to notice when it is time. You can be clear that right now it isn't clear, which is very different than continuing to run it over and over in your mind.
The question may be off. Check other choices, it takes just a couple seconds each. (example: For example, if your options are do this retreator don't do this retreat, what happens if you check in to doing your own private retreat, how does that feel? Or a different retreat.) When there is something close but not quite related to the question, there is a particular way this feels, like a maybe or almost that has a certain feel to it. With experience, you'll begin to sense when this is the case.
Take a break. Go outside for a walk. Dance. Move. Get quiet. Try again later. For now, you still commit to stop wondering about the topic and get grounded.
I almost always encourage people to use this technique simultaneously. When you compare each option, ask for a visual symbol that represents the choices. For example, intend to see the symbol of a path that represents each option. Or a tree, or flower. You can even walk the path and get a feel for it. This can provide helpful details and can make things much clearer when you have strong emotions on a topic. It provides something a little more concrete. While using these symbols, be sure to still feel in your body as you sense the symbol, are you more open or closed.
What if they feel the same?
What if you only sensed one of the options and nothing for the other?
What if you don't feel anything, or it's confusing and you don't know?
— Sometimes neither choice is aligned for us.
— Sometimes we are just too uncentered and in our heads rather than bodies, so we can't sense.
So if you still don't know, what can you be clear about? "I'm clear that I don't know." You can be clear that you aren't clear about it at this time. And it's okay. For now. Open to knowing when it is time.
Alternative: Add symbolism
This practice helps you learn to trust your sensing again, to find what in you always guides moment-to-moment, to return to a natural state of clarity.